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You are so NOT wrong to be upset, and I would be inclined to tell her "Thank you for the thought, but I'm afraid I must decline your offer to host a shower." And if she says anything else, just repeat the preceding sentence calmly, as many times as it takes to get it through to her.
She can have a yard sale herself, if she chooses not to go ahead and give you the items, or she can find someone who doesn't care about the strings she attaches to things to whom she can give them.
And if some of your other friends don't come through with a shower for you, well, you wouldn't be the first person to not get a shower, even though it would be sad that your friends don't seem to want to celebrate this new life with you.
If I were one of your local friends, I'd be reluctant to attend a shower hosted by someone like that, I think!
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