I came across this interesting snippet by Fred G. Gosman, author of How to Be a Happy Parent . . . in Spite of Your Children, and it made me pause for thought.

Simply because our times are complex, does it follow that our parenting must also be? Must we reject the common sense that what worked so well in the past just because our times are high-tech? We live in such fear of being called “old-fashioned” that we are cutting ourselves off from that which is proven.Recently, I was talking to a young friend in her early twenties, who was expecting her first child. We got talking about different things you can get to help them sleep and at one point she laughed and say, "Why am I asking you anyway, everything is different since you had yours!" Now, I know that no offense was meant, but it did hurt my feelings a little. I wish I'd read that snippet back then and I'd have had an inkling of an answer! :)

Yes, times have changed but to me babies are babies and don't change that much between generations. What does are the gadgets, "must-haves" list and techniques/advice which fall in and out of favor all the time. When you think about what your mother or grandmother had, and compare it with what's available now, it's mind-blowing. Maybe we have too many choices now and need to take a step back to keep it simpler, who knows. :)

Anyway, I was just interested in what others thought about that snippet's perspective! :)

When I think of old ways, I think a little bit further back than my mother. She still used cribs, separate rooms, cry it out, must make child independent.

There was a time when babies were held from birth, slept with mom, always carried in a sling, lived with parents until married. A family unit was a FAMILY UNIT. Now we're all about fostering independence. From the second our baby is born we're trying to teach it to be without us. Then when they get older, we wonder why our children don't respect their elders or call their moms anymore. ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANTED??

It gets under my skin.

I breastfed my baby, held him constantly, attachment parenting as much as I could. He STILL cosleeps with me, at 4 years old, and I am not in a rush to push him away from me and kill that family bond.

You know that movie? A plane crashes on the guys house his dad built a bomb shelter they live in for years, thinking they were bombed by the soviet union. It's a "romantic comedy" I think. I don't like the movie much. But I LOVE the end. Where she's narrating about how the parents take care of the children, then the children take care of the parents.

We've lost that with our new way of childrearing. I really hope my baby is my baby for life. I hope when I'm old it's not a burden to care for me. Not something my kid is dreading "what do I do when this person gets old omg no way!". I really hope he isn't so detached from me. lol

So true, mamasita, you made some great points there. I'd like to think that when I'm old, my son will still want to be around me and in touch.

There's a lot to be said for the extended family unit too which is something that's disintegrated rapidly in Western culture, although in other corners of the world it's still the norm. Whether that's because families are now more globally dispersed than we ever were, I don't know. Someone going to work abroad barely raises an eyebrow these days, it's so common. But amongst all the changing gadgets and fads of childrearing, the notion of the extended family unit being "old hat" is definitely a loss and most likely the one thing that we've discarded to our greatest cost.

They say we learn parenting from our own parents since we know of no other way and yet each generation seems to be diluting the bonds of that learning experience, casually casting aside the wisdom of experience and life lessons which only many years on this planet can bring. Things that used to be automatically taken as a "given" in children : respect for our elders, love for our siblings, a sense of shared responsibility and basically to live a decent life while growing up to be someone your family can be proud of...those days seem to be gone, sadly, in many cases.

Here's hoping that those of us that continue to try instill values in our children will always be the majority rather than the minority. Fads and gadgets may come and go, but positive reinforcement in childhood of your worth, honoring your family and respecting your fellow man remains with you a lifetime.

I love attachment parenting! I think mommy's that try to seperate from their babies must just be plumb crazy! I never want to put my Honey Muffin down! And you know if he cries I'm on top of it!

I'd like to think that when I'm old, my son will still want to be around me and in touch.

Mine better, or Im going to hunt him down....:p

From what I can tell, everyone is very outspoken about how to raise a baby. I always hear "You have to do this..." and the "studies have proven that...". It gets to the point where a lot of the advice is contradictory! I suggest doing what feels best. If all else fails, don't be afraid to ask advice, just take it with a grain of salt sometimes.

And that is great advice conquest. Everything I do with my baby, pick him up when he cries, love him, rock him, it's all impulsive I swear. I react to him before I think about what I'm doing. And I'm just letting myself do that. The HECK with other advice :D

"Old-fashioned" doesn't have to be considering some of the old traditions still work just as well if not better than the new ones. Do whatever you feel is best, and don't let others call you "old-fashioned"


Stand by your convictions.

*looks at topic*

Yes, I had 3, how many do you have? :)