My girlfriend, a working professional, says she doesn't want to get married, neither does she want a permanent man in her life - but she wants a child. So she wants a man solely to get her pregnant and then to move on. I tell her she is selfish. What do you think?

I don't know, I think children deserve two parents if at all possible. It's one thing when a woman is a single mother by circumstance, it's another by choice. It's hard raising children, and if she's a working professional she'd just be having a kid to stick it in daycare all day. Yes, I think she's selfish!

I don't think it's exactly selfish. I don't see anything wrong with having a child go to daycare or to another family member's for part of the day. Even if a baby has two parents they may end up going to daycare. I say if she's up to it, why not?

On the one hand, I agree that ideally there should be two parents to raise the child but in today's world, how often is that really the case? If your friend wants a child, then she should be able to have one whether she has a partner or not. It would be better if she has a strong family network to help pick up the slack though.

I'd have to wonder, what are her motivations? Does she want a child because everyone else has some, because her biological clock is ticking, or because she feels a longing in her heart?

Also, what about male influences. Kids need role models of both sexes. A girl needs a good role model to show her what a good man is, and a boy needs one to show him how to be that man.

It's been done before, but it won't be easy. Ultimately though, it's her choice.

I think its a little odd to start off with and yes its a ton of work to do together or alone. I would also be asking her why she is in a relationship with you now if she really only wants you for one thing.

No, no, she and I are just friends. We are not in a lesbian relationship - am married with my own family. I think my friend wants a child to 'fulfill' herself as a woman. She has a Masters degree, a very good job, her home and so on, she thinks a child will close her circle.


I think its a little odd to start off with and yes its a ton of work to do together or alone. I would also be asking her why she is in a relationship with you now if she really only wants you for one thing.

I could see the reason for the mix up as you posted "my girlfriend", it could be taken either way. haha

Has she thought about checking a local or national sperm bank company, I know some of the things can be pretty pricey.

I am soon to be a single mother of 2 (my boyfriend was deported and it's not looking good on him getting back in the country). I can't imagine doing this by choice. Of course, I'm not a working professional, but money is soooo tight when you are the only parent. And you never get a break.

I am concerned more about the child. There will be no chance of that child growing up with a father figure. I know that this happens in a lot of cases, and many kids turn out just fine - but I think that this kind of parenting should not be by design and should not be shoved on any kid because that's how Mom, or Dad, wants it. It's not just a simple matter of her being able to afford a child economically.

I am soon to be a single mother of 2 (my boyfriend was deported and it's not looking good on him getting back in the country). I can't imagine doing this by choice. Of course, I'm not a working professional, but money is soooo tight when you are the only parent. And you never get a break.

I am sorry to hear that, I have a friend whose husband is in jail now but he will be deported once they release him. She plans on goijng to his country to live with taking their son with her.

I don't think it is wrong or selfish of her. I had my first child at age 20 and was a single mom for 4 years. I always knew I wanted to become married eventually and have more children, but I also always said if I didn't get married by age 30, I would have another child as a single mother. I did get married, so that's no longer an issue, but I don't see a problem with women (or men) raising children as single parents, as long as they have the financial and emotional means to do so.