simonsays

There are times when dads do not want to admit they are a dad or even that they have children so trying to get them to help take care of the child can be a tough task. Even if you are able to establish paternity that does not guarantee that you will get the financial help that you might need.

More people than you might know are in the same place as you might be and dealing with it can be tough or easy. The more time you spend fighting the deadbeat the harder it will be on you. Sometimes it may seem like the right thing to do is fight, but this can take a toll on you and the child. So many times do what you can and let the law do what they can to try and get them to pay up.

I know of close friend who for 14 years has not received any support even though there is a court order. It turns out that every time they are close to getting to him, he finds out and runs to the Indian Reservation where he cannot be touched. So you may ask, how does she deal with it. Well, that is simple. She said her child is her responsibility and she still has to raise him, she has had to get two jobs in the past, but finally decided going back to school and getting a degree would help her to get be in a better financial situation, as her degree helped her to get a job that pays much better.

So do not be discouraged by deadbeat dads just move on with life, and if you happen to get money from him, then that is a bonus.

Lily

I agree that you have to move on and do whatever needs to be done to raise your child. Still, the deadbeat shouldn't be allowed to get off that easily. It's money your child is entitled to. Even if they manage to get by for years without paying a cent, keep at it. This money could help with tuition or a car or something else your child needs when he's older if it takes that long to get it. I'm not saying let it rule your life or anything, just don't throw your hands up and say "oh forget it". You didn't make that baby by yourself. He should have to do his share.

Cary

Forgetting him and moving on is the right thing to do to spare you the pain and bother of running him down. The problem is that without shouldering his responsibility this time, he's just free to keep on doing his thing over and over again. Even if as a single parent you can do it alone, the extra resources would do so much more. I think the laws need more teeth.

misty

That's right Cary, the law needs to be such that wherever these guys go they are should be caught and charged with their responsibility, there should not be any exceptions relating to where they can be forced to do so.

ayan

Oh boy.. where do I begin? I knew form the moment I left him(my son's dad) I was on my own. I think he's well over 10 grand in back pay debt. But I have busted my butt to provide for my son and I might not get far in life anytime soon... but I will slowly but surely. I totally agree that if I get some cash, that's just a bonus. It's his loss really because he's missing out on a great human being.

Lullaby

You know what is worse though, than a dead beat dad? A dad who decides after years of no contact with a child-complete stranger having not seen them almost since birth, to return and file for partial custody. Can you imagine having to hand your child over to a stranger, and never even know that the kid was safe?

ayan

Wow that has to be a hard thing to do. I can't imagine what a parent must be going through. What gives this man the right to do this, simply because he planted a seed? That seems all to ridiculous. What kind of example is this for our children? It's like telling them it's ok to postpone your responsibilities as long one day you come back to them!

twilight_01

my father was a drug addict... and my mother raised me and my sister one her own. She sent us both to private schools and worked so hard for both of us to give us everything we wanted.

We still dont know where dad is, and he doesn't pay one cent.

Its horrible, but we turned out good women so mum is a prouder lady for being able to say she did it all herself.