Beebah

How do you explain dead beat parents to a child? My granddaughter never thought twice about live with me and her grandfather until she started school. She always called me mom and it was brought to her attention at school that I'm her grandmother. Now, we have to explain why she's with us and not with either of them. Advice please.

LoveMaGirl

I really don't know. My daughter's dad is a dead beat too. She hasn't seen him since she was six months old-he said he doesn't want her, or to know her ever. I've kind of skirted around the questions so far.

Insomnia

You have to kind of tread carefully because you don't want to hurt their self esteem. You might consider telling her that they aren't currently capable of caring for even themselves, let alone caring for her and that you are doing that to make sure that she has a good life.

Leighanne

I think the answers here would depend on whether the parents are involved in her life or have the potential to be involved. For instance if you have sole permanent custody the answers might be different than if they have visitation or something.

Mystery

There is ALWAYS the chance that the other parent could come back into the child's life unless a court has put a block on that. For instance, if parental rights were severed. Sole permanent custody isn't enough.

superwhat

I just try to be as honest as I can. I do not let myself speak emotionally about the dead beat dad I just try to keep a natural tone of voice while giving them facts. But I do tell them what I can as honestly as I can. I also try to talk about how they feel about it so they can share and work through their feelings.