Mama

One of my nieces stay with me and I'm her caretaker, and I consider her very much as part of the family. Recently she has this new girl friend that she spends a lot of time with on the phone, outside, and talks about so much I'm beginning to believe that she is somewhat obsessed with this girl. She has brought this friend home, and she is a really nice girl, but I can't help but think she looks very "butch". Should I be concerned?

cameron

How old is your niece? I would say I would not be concerned yet. My daughters both have that one friend they would like to spend every waking hour with, but they laugh and giggle and talk about boys just the same.

smiler

Actually you shouldn't be concerned either way. If it's a friendship and they are fairly young then it's quite common for girls to get obsessed about one of their friends. If it turns out to be more of a "love" situation then even a crush on another girl is common at a certain age. If she is old enough to know her own mind, there will be nothing you can do anyway.

Penny

I wouldn't worry about it either way especially when you are talking about an age where it starts to get where the more you push the more they are going to push back. Just let things run their natural course.

LaraC

I wouldn't worry about it either. One of my older daughters is actually gay and I don't care so long as she is happy. It sounds like it may just be a crush though. If you try to tell her not to see her she may do it behind your back, I would just have the girl over to my house.

jaxdad

I agree with the others I would not worry about it. Let them be kids and if she grows up liking girls maybe that is what was meant to be. Long as she is healthy and happy that is all a parent/family should wish for.

AmandaBuckley

I def wouldn't worry. I was very tom boyish until I was like 15. I hung out with a girl (best friend at the time) who was into sports, "boy things" etc. So I was because I wanted to fit in. Then we moved and I found new friends. I steadily stopped playing sports (not that girls can't play sports, I still love watching them), changed how I dressed, etc. now I'm married

Mama

Thanks all for the advice. I feel much better now. I was just being worrisome. I'm just worried people would say I'm not doing a good job of taking care of my niece, or worse, people saying I differentiate between my own children and her.

rose

I think part of being a parent or caregiver or even just a good friend is to have those worrisome moments, otherwise you are just neglecting the responsibility. Right?