Sabre's grandma

It's certainly a stresser when a baby comes into a marriage. Some marriages just cannot handle it. We got thru it , but so many don't...Thought it might be a good idea for the new parents to realize this is normal and ways to cope...What affects (at least at first) did your first child have on your marriage?

twitch

We were married for 2 years before the birth of our son, during the first two weeks we were very stressed as before Nicholas came along we had a lot of time together and spent a lot of time together, then when Nicholas came home we had no time for each other as the baby demanded all of our attention, it led to a few cross words. After 2-3 weeks I'd had enough of not having any alone time with my husband and simply asked someone to babysit while we had a few hours alone. Now Nicholas sleeps through the night and for the better half of the evening we have time together again. It's hard at first but just remember the stage where the baby is constantly needing something passes very very quickly.

Cary

I think it brought us together more. We had a new source of discussion and more need to plan together. That bundle of joy was another bonding link between us.

BabyFaada

We were married for almost 5 years before our first child so the newborn sort of blew a new life in our marriage. The new responsibility certainly made us busier, but it was fun with us working together to make everything alright.

MommyDearest

My husband and I had been together since we were kids (I was 14 he was 15) before we married in our early 20s. So when our first born came along we were very comfortable with each other and so had lots of love and time to give to little H!

Because of circumstances (no jobs in our area) my husband joined the forces soon after we married, so we kind of had to get used to being without each other for long periods. Then we had the added stress of moving away from our hometown (to a different country in fact!) so I didn't even have any family close at hand.

We'd been married 4 years before we decided to try for a baby. Little H was worth it and certainly I think our waiting to take the plunge helped us cope better with the demands of a new baby.

Little H affected our marriage in a beautiful way.

Karis

I have to say kids bring parents closer, but I have a sister whose perfect marriage crumbled after her daughter's birth. It seem like her husband was jealous of the baby and she became TOO preoccupied with her daughter. She went into depression and her husband just gave up. Her daughter is 2, they are finally divorced and she's still in her deep depression. Weird huh?

LoveMaGirl

We separated when my daughter was just six months old. It wasn't her arrival-things had been bad for a long time. But having a baby to care for did drive us further apart because he wanted nothing to do with her-and since I was caring for her all the time, it made us even more distant.

Lucie_NY

It was the same with us, we'd been together since Sophmore Year (and had been friends much longer) and went to seperate college's but we always knew we'd end up together and then when the twins came we'd already been through so much it wasn't stressful at all especially as we were both so exhausted we just sort of collapsed in a heap when we finally got them to sleep although it sort of killed our social life. But we did not subcome to getting a nanny! So we must have done something right.