Beebah

We never used a crib or bassinet; babies slept in our bed. They had to leave when they were about nine months. But, we have friends to still have their children in their bed at 3 and 4 years. How old is old enough to be their own bed and how old is too old to be in yours?

nanaSue

I don't think it's recommended to have babies in bed with you at all. I recall an awful story in the newspaper where a mother had rolled onto her baby in bed and smothered it. It's just too dangerous when they are tiny and helpless. I'd have mine climb into bed with me in the mornings for a little while when they were toddlers but I really think they should have their own sleeping space from the beginning.

LoveMaGirl

NanaSue-it depends what part of the world you live in. In many parts of the world is it the cultural norm to have babies in bed, and research shows that those areas DON'T have suffocation issues, because they are used to sleeping that way and because they set the bed up safely and obey the rules. Japan for instance, a child may be in the parental bed from birth till 11 or 12 years old.

What's more they have far less SIDs than we do. Really this is a subject that deserves more reading because when done right it is safe. However guilting parent into thinking they are breaking some unwritten law makes them more likely to do it unsafely-ie in the throws of exhaustion just falling asleep with baby where ever they are. Better to do it right and not reach that level of exhaustion as a result than make them fearful and guilt ridden.

OliviaT

My girls will crawl into bed with me from time to time and I didn't exclusively put them in the crib when they were babies. I figure they won't do it much longer and then I am going to wish they longed to sleep next to me.

busymom

This is something I would NEVER consider. We had some friends lose a baby a couple of months ago becaus eone of them rolled over in the middle of the night and smothered the baby. In the same room fine...in the same bed never.

nanaSue

Well, I'm sorry if I made anyone feel guilty or fearful. If they live in a culture that does this as the norm, however, they must already be aware of possible dangers in order to avoid them. I can't imagine how you can do it safely without having the baby in a separate bed although I will certainly read up on it, as it's a new area for me.

JDdad

I think safely for the first few months is fine but when the have their own bed the should sleep in it. Crawling into your bed in the morning I feel is different too, if it gives you a little more sleep time great!

alexis

I never really had this become an issue as I always used both a crib or bassinet myself but I do know that some parents get so weak when it comes to having their little babies in their own beds it gets very overrun. Then the personal space a parent needs vanishes and most times the relationship with the spouse as well.

Insomnia

I think that if the only relationship you have with your partner is in your bed, then there is something lacking! What about the living room, the sofa, the...er....kitchen table?! Where is the spontaneity, the fun, the pleasure of being together because you want to and not just because you are in the same bed at the same time?!

LoveMaGirl

Ok then some links for you to read.
http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/0...eeping-safety/
http://www.asklenore.info/parenting/...osleeping.html
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T102200.asp

Japan has around ten percent of our SIDs numbers, and Hong Kong just three percent. Again, I have to say that what we need to do is learn to co-sleep safely, because I believe that our risk of infant death will also drop if we do that.