misty

What do you do when you want another child but your husband doesn't? I am in my early 30's and had a son recently, my husband do not really want another one. I don't want to wait until my first child is too old for them to be playmates.

Seattle_mom

I think it's important to sit down with your husband and really have a heart to heart talk about wanting another one. Tell him on a scale of 1 to 10 how much you want another one. Ask him to tell you on the same scale how much he doesn't. Discuss his reasoning why he doesn't want another one (financial, you'll have to move, whatever). Also discuss how close you want them together.

And then give it a little time, and then discuss again. You don't want to always be unhappy feeling you're missing someone in your life, but you don't want him to regret the baby either. You will have to find a balance.

For us, I wanted 4, DH wanted 2. Now we have 2 and I have come to realize having four would effect somethings I want. I want to homeschool them, take them on vacations, etc. These things will be more difficult with 4, especially financially. So we've agreed on 3.

aplslch

Talking about the real reasons seems like the best plan to me as well. I know for me I could have kids or not, its not important to me overall. But some of the guys I've dated its been a requirement of their eventual wife to have kids. So long as he's willing to give you honest reasons you can work through it instead of fighting and holding resentment.

LoveMaGirl

Unfortunately this is the kind of thing that really does need to be negotiated because if either party feels forced, either way, it can be horribly damaging.

Do your best to explain to him how important it is to you. Maybe he is just remembering some of the more difficult things surrounding the birth of your son and needs a little more time.

alexis

A good sit down talk does sound fair. Then you can both get out your reasons of why and why not. Maybe he is worried for financial issues?