Mami

My girlfriend, a working professional, says she doesn't want to get married, neither does she want a permanent man in her life - but she wants a child. So she wants a man solely to get her pregnant and then to move on. I tell her she is selfish. What do you think?

CharliesMama

I don't know, I think children deserve two parents if at all possible. It's one thing when a woman is a single mother by circumstance, it's another by choice. It's hard raising children, and if she's a working professional she'd just be having a kid to stick it in daycare all day. Yes, I think she's selfish!

Shannon

I don't think it's exactly selfish. I don't see anything wrong with having a child go to daycare or to another family member's for part of the day. Even if a baby has two parents they may end up going to daycare. I say if she's up to it, why not?

surprise

On the one hand, I agree that ideally there should be two parents to raise the child but in today's world, how often is that really the case? If your friend wants a child, then she should be able to have one whether she has a partner or not. It would be better if she has a strong family network to help pick up the slack though.

DaisyJo

I'd have to wonder, what are her motivations? Does she want a child because everyone else has some, because her biological clock is ticking, or because she feels a longing in her heart?

Also, what about male influences. Kids need role models of both sexes. A girl needs a good role model to show her what a good man is, and a boy needs one to show him how to be that man.

It's been done before, but it won't be easy. Ultimately though, it's her choice.

alexis

I think its a little odd to start off with and yes its a ton of work to do together or alone. I would also be asking her why she is in a relationship with you now if she really only wants you for one thing.

Mami

No, no, she and I are just friends. We are not in a lesbian relationship - am married with my own family. I think my friend wants a child to 'fulfill' herself as a woman. She has a Masters degree, a very good job, her home and so on, she thinks a child will close her circle.

lynns

I could see the reason for the mix up as you posted "my girlfriend", it could be taken either way. haha

Has she thought about checking a local or national sperm bank company, I know some of the things can be pretty pricey.

CA_Sarah

I am soon to be a single mother of 2 (my boyfriend was deported and it's not looking good on him getting back in the country). I can't imagine doing this by choice. Of course, I'm not a working professional, but money is soooo tight when you are the only parent. And you never get a break.

Don Dada

I am concerned more about the child. There will be no chance of that child growing up with a father figure. I know that this happens in a lot of cases, and many kids turn out just fine - but I think that this kind of parenting should not be by design and should not be shoved on any kid because that's how Mom, or Dad, wants it. It's not just a simple matter of her being able to afford a child economically.